Japanese Pie
by UnicornGiggles
Summary: DONE An 'American Pie' parody feat. Pokemon characters


**James as Jim (pie boy)**

**Jesse as Jessica (slut)**

**Meowth as Stiffler (guy who drinks pale ale)**

**Misty as Michelle (this one time at band camp…)**

**Ash as Kevin (boy with Bible)**

**Brock as Oz (suck me beautiful)**

**Tracey as Finch (shit break)**

**Jenny as Nadia (naked foreign chick)**

**Joy as Heather (choir girl)**

**Gary Oak as Sherman (piss pants)**

**Professor Samuel Oak as Embarrassing Dad**

**Mrs Deliah Ketchum as Stiffler's Mom (MILF)**

**Mr Mime as Himself**

**Pikachu as Vicky ("perfect first time")**

**Togepi as web cam**

_Note: This doesn't really follow the film at all. Disclaimer – Pokémon and American Pie are not mine. If they were I'd be f**king rich and I wouldn't be here writing dumbass fics, duh! _

                "Meowth?" asked James. "What does heterosexual 3rd base feel like?" Meowth smiled warmly at his sexually repressed, gay friend. He patted him on the arm. "Like warm, Japanese pie."

                "Really?" James exclaimed. "Dubbed or subtitled?"

And so our story begins…

                Brock was desperate for sex. Since the embarrassing 'suck me beautiful' incident with Ivy the college student, he'd avoided women. But the testosterone in him was surging again. He needed some hot lovin'. He glanced at Ash (not in that way). Ash was finally realising what a choice piece of tottie Misty was, and was reading the Karma Sutra for advice. He regarded it as 'the bible'. Professor Oak was helping him study. "Look Ash! See how difficult that position is. Is Misty double-jointed? That would help." He was trying to be useful. But he just made Ash more nervous. Tracey waddled over. The flab jiggled and was almost vomit inducing. "Hey Ash, Misty and Mrs Ketchum went out to buy things from this place called Ann Summers. Do you know what that is, Professor?" Brock almost fainted with sexual grief. He couldn't believe his chubby friend was so stupid. "Are you crazy? Arrrrgh! I MUST GO TO THEM!" Brock leapt to his feet and jumped out the window. Mr Mime followed closely. There was no way he was going to let Brock get his hands on Deliah. Ash stared at Tracey blankly. "Errrrrr…I think Ann is my aunt or something." Mullet.

Deliah proudly sported a silky nightie for misty. "What do you think? Will Oaky-poo like it?" 

Misty nodded enthusiastically. "Y'know, this one time, at Cerulean Gym, I wore nothing during a battle. And it was so funny!" Deliah stared blankly (I think it runs in the family) at Misty. "And another time, at Cerulean Gym, this guy was really bad at training so me and my sisters just _gave_ him a badge. We felt sorry for him. Oh wait! That was Ash!" She giggled madly. Just then, Jesse ran over to greet them (just pretend they're friends). "What are you doing here?" asked Deliah.

                "It's James' birthday soon."

                "And you're getting him lingerie? You should just sleep with him. You've done that for everyone else's birthday present." Jesse sighed. "Although I am gloriously sexy, James just doesn't see me that way. He has a thing for pies."

"So does Tracey!" Misty giggled again. The three of them launched into a performance of 'Who ate all the pies?'. 

Back at the lab, the guys were trying to help Tracey with his diet. Mr Mime was being very mean and kept dangling Pringles in front of Tracey while he was strapped to the exercise machine. Just as Tracey would raise a flabby hand to grab them, Mimie would run away and eat them on the other side of the room. Tracey could only look on in sorrow. "I know!" said Brock. "Let's do what the celebrities do."

"What's that?" Ash pondered. Brock stroked his hairless chin. "We'll put him on laxatives!" They all thought it was a great idea. Within a few days, Tracey was thin enough to hide behind a Snorlax. Meanwhile, Brock was at the Pokémon Centre trying the sensitive angle to seduce Joy. The only thing Joy was impressed with was Brock's teenage vocals and she had him put on the Pokémon centre rock band. The whole gang watched him at the Chez Growlithe Club. After a rendition of 'Staring you in the face' (cough*advertising*cough) he sang a duet with Joy. "How sweet it is to be loved by you, by you!" 

Ash whispered to Misty, "Isn't a bayou some sort of marsh?" Misty chuckled loudly and caused a few people to turn round and shush her. "This one time, at Cerulean Gym…" Meowth elbowed her and told her to shut up. She growled at him. Then she whispered in Ash's ear and the two of them ran off together. They came back a few minutes later. "Here Meowth, have a beer on me!" she beamed. Ash began to laugh. Meowth bowed his head in thanks and took a sip…

While Meowth was in the little Pokémon's room vomiting, Officer Jenny wandered over to speak to them. "What's the problem, officer?" Samuel smiled. 

"Well," she began, "I need to do a cavity search on a Mr…Morgan." James squealed. "This is why I avoided jail!" 

"Why? You're gay! You'd love it in there!" glared Jesse.

"I wouldn't be able to walk! They always pick on the rich boys. I don't wanna be some guy's bitch! I want to be held and loved," he whined. 

Pikachu patted James' arm and said, "Pi pi chu pi chu pikachu, chu pi-chu." This translates as 'If you give me an orgasm, _I'll_ hold you'. Luckily James couldn't understand Pikachu. A very messy and disturbing plot line was wiped. 

Meanwhile, Togepi disguised itself as a web cam so that Officer Jenny would dance naked for him. He would then put this onto the internet, causing all men and lesbians to cease all conscious thought. During this moment of weakness, he would take over the world. But just as it was reaching the climax, Tracey jiggled into the room. The nauseating site of his flab, glistening with sweat from his trip up the stairs to Togepi's room, was too much for Jenny and she ran to Gary's home. The site of a beautiful naked woman at his door caused Gary great excitement. Too much excitement. He wet himself. Jenny had to run to someone else. But to whom? Why of course! To Oak of course. Where all women run in times of need. In fact there was a queue when she got there. Meanwhile, Togepi was sat in his room. Disguised as a web cam. Thinking of a most evil revenge. Then he thought, "Fuck it!" and lit up a spliff. Hence his nickname – Tokepi.the Tokémon. 

Anyway, back to the queue. Misty was first. She had stuck a flute up her pussy and could not retrieve it. So she wanted to ask for Oak's expert help. Ahem. Deliah was next. She was having trouble satisfying her toy boys. They all seemed to want to sleep with Jesse. Jesse was after her in the queue. She needed advice on how to turn James straight. James was straight after Jesse in the line. He wanted Oak to help him stop Jesse from turning him straight. Pikachu was clamped onto James' leg. Meowth was next with Tracey in tow. Tracey kept trying to eat Meowth and so they were both seeking counselling from Oak. The last one before Jenny was Togepi. He was on the anger management course that Oak was running. But before any of them could enter into the laboratory, Ash came racing up to them. "What is it?" Misty asked. "Is it like that time, at Cerulean Gym…" 

"No, no…we're in the Top Ten. Number one!" Ash showed them the magazine he was holding. Sure enough 'Japanese Pie' had made it to the number one spot. James squealed, "Yey!"

As they all celebrated in the diner, James looked back on the fun time they had had whilst making the movie. "Hey, I know! How about a 'Japanese Pie II'?"

"I'm way ahead of you my boy," smiled Professor Oak as he produced two lesbians and a trumpet. "Way ahead…"


End file.
